Tie the knot

The sweet chime of impending wedding bells inspired us to board our car—that is, embark upon a journey--in November and head for Lexington, Virginia, to witness the daughter of some friends “tie the knot”- that is get married.  We were familiar with the metaphorical slang phrase “tie the knot,” but imagine our surprise to find the bride and groom literally tied together as part of the wedding ceremony!

Before your imagination runs too far into visions of kinky rituals, let me assure you that the ceremony was very much G-rated.  As the groom is of Scottish descent, not only was the bag piper, who supplied the music for the ceremony, a nod to that heritage, but the knot-tying ceremony which preceded their formal vows, as well.

The officiant at the wedding explained to those gathered that the knot-tying ceremony developed out of necessity.  Centuries ago, many rural communities did not have a full-time minister, so one minister would have to serve many far-flung communities.  In today’s world, automobile travel makes this circumstance viable so that rural communities have ministers conveniently available.  However, in the days of travel by foot or by horse, rural communities would go for significant periods of time without having access to a minister.  Therefore, communities developed a ritual which allowed couples ready and willing to marry to bind their relationship publicly--literally and metaphorically--so that they could enjoy all aspects of married life until the minister returned to bless their marriage formally.

This ceremony involved a gathering of the townspeople and several ropes.  (Only in the 19^th century would those ropes become equated sarcastically with nooses, as in “tie the noose,” according to my Chambers Slang Dictionary.)  The couple would join hands and an officiant from the community would ask the couple questions about their commitment to each other.  As the couple answered each question, the officiant bound their hands together with a rope which was then knotted.  By the end of the questioning, the couple’s hands were firmly linked together.  The knot had been tied!

The officiant at the wedding we witnessed asked questions such as “Will you cause your spouse pain?” The gathered company chuckled when the groom answered, “I will,” but quickly amended his response to “I may.” He was experienced enough in love to know that he would not intentionally cause his wife grief. Because we are human, we do upon occasion cause pain to those we love.

After we returned home, I did some research into the knot tying ceremony.  The history of knot tying to celebrate weddings reaches much farther back in history and world culture than the explanation we heard.  Knot tying can also involve twining vines and even clothing to signify the bond of marriage.  As it turns out, this type of ceremony is currently so popular that many wedding sites are dedicated to it.

In addition, I pulled out my trusty Oxford English Dictionary.  Reading deep into the entry on “tie,” I finally found a meaning listed as figurative: “to join closely or firmly; to connect, attach, unite, knit, bind by material other than ties; esp. to unite in marriage,” with the first example from literature going back to the 11^th century.

As I tie up this blog, I wish that those of you who are “tied up,” that is married, are happily bound, not only in the ties of matrimony but bound (or headed) in a sweet direction.

LAGNIAPPE:  By the way, once the literal bonds were tied and the marital promises made and witnessed, the ropes were loosened.