De-mentor

Years ago, I saw the saying, “If you can’t be a good example, then be a horrible warning.”  This counsel gave me hope for those many times when I fall short of perfection.  Most of us have role models and aspire to be role models, going back to Greek Mythology when Athena served as a role model for Odysseus and Telemachus in the guise of Mentor.  Recently at work I fell short of perfection again, engaging in what I like to call “constructive mischievousness.” A colleague admired my “wildness” in undertaking this modest act of civil disobedience.  That got me to thinking, if a “mentor” is a positive role model, would a “de-mentor” be a constructively mischievous role model, since “de-“ prefixed to a word means, “do or make the opposite of; reverse”? And if so, have I become “demented”?

Firstly, I must credit my role model, my father, with introducing me to constructive mischievousness, a practice I happily follow.  In my childhood, my father would do silly things like write “dead cow” on the freezer packages of ground beef.  (My mother quickly put an end to that silliness.)

At work, we have an erasable calendar used to reserve rooms.  Evidently, people were erasing established room reservations and replacing them with their own.  Recently, a paper sign was taped to the erasable calendar, reading in Big Black Letters, “Do Not Touch the Calendar.”  The voice of my constructively mischievous father whispered in my ear, “Touch the calendar as you walk by.  Just tap it with your finger.”  And so on many occasions I have engaged in the civil disobedience of lightly tapping the calendar as I pass.

In searching my American Heritage Dictionary, I found that “dement,” meaning “to cause a person to become mentally deranged” or “to lose intellectual power” is the root of “demented,” which informally means “foolish or crazy.” These words come from a Latin root meaning “senseless.”  The suffix “-or” added to a word means “One that performs a specified action.”  In a constructively mischievous parsing of these definitions, then, a person who acts crazily or causes others to act crazily can be a “dementor,” the opposite of Mentor.  In addition, Chambers Slang Dictionary includes and entry for “demento,” citing “the 1970’s radio show Dr. Demento,” and defining the word as “a crazy, eccentric person.”

Tomorrow I will go to work.  I will do the opposite of Mentor, listen to my father’s whispers, and lightly tap that forbidden calendar.  In the spirit of constructive mischievousness, proudly, I will call myself a “dementor.”

LAGNIAPPE:  In the late 1970’s I worked in a costume shop in Baton Rouge.  On Saturdays before the boss arrived, we would put Dr. Demento’s radio show on the shop radio.  The boss immediately would change the channel, not wanting to offend customers.

Feisty--or getting in touch with your inner dog

How many of us who have had canine family members have not at one time or another blamed ill-timed Silent-But-Deadlies on the poor dog?  Currently, I am reading How Dogs Love Us, which led me to the linguistic justification for such blame.  The author, neuroscientist Gregory Berns, a professor at Emory University, enlists the help of his dog Callie, whom his family rescued from a local humane society.  In researching Callie’s mixed pedigree, Berns discovered that she has some “feist” in her.  I was familiar with the word “feisty” meaning “full of spirit or determination; plucky or spunky,” as The American Heritage Dictionary defines it, but not familiar with the meaning which Chambers Slang Dictionary supplies of “a small dog; thus having the characteristics of such a yappy, snappy, energetic creature.”

Never having heard of feist as a breed of dog, I immediately looked it up. The American Heritage Dictionary defines “feist” as “Chiefly Southern US A small mongrel dog” from the Middle English word “fist”meaning “a blowing, breaking wind.”  This definition does not capture the idea of farting associated with the Middle English word.

Chambers Slang Dictionary actually defines the noun “feist” as “a truculent, short-tempered person or animal,” with “feisty” as the adjectival form.  In defining “feisty,” Chambers goes into more of the vulgar (24 March 2013) associations going back to the 15^th century form, “fist”:  “a foul smell, the breaking of wind.”  Chambers qualifies its definition with the possibility that “the dog was so named because one’s own smells could be blamed upon it,” admitting this interpretation is doubtful.  However, until neuroscientists discover a way to interpret dog thoughts into human words, dogs will continue to take the blame for stinky human indiscretions, especially after meals of beans.

 Until now, I thought that “feisty” was a formal, somewhat complimentary adjective.  I had no clue that “feist” and “feisty” are words of Southern regional slang with strong associations with farting.  The next time someone accuses me of being feisty, I will search the immediate area for a dog to blame.

LAGNIAPPE:  Supposedly in human grammar, dogs are referred to with the neutral pronoun, “it” as opposed to by human gender.  In this entry, I have chosen to write in doggie grammar, referring to dogs with human pronouns, as in my world, pets are family members.

LAGNIAPPE:  The AHD entry for “feist” refers the reader to pezd- in the appendix of Indo-European roots.  The entry reads, “To fart . . . from Old English fisting, a breaking of wind.”  The appendix goes on to list root words meaning to fart from Middle English (fisten) and from Germanic (*fistiz), ending with ”petard” from the Latin pedere, to fart. The familiar phrase of being “hoisted by one’s own petard,” blown up by one’s own bomb, takes on new meaning.  Now one “hoisted by one’s own petard” can mean being incapacitated by one’s own farts.

LAGNIAPPE: On regional variations in languages, please see the “Our Living Language” note at “andiron” in the AHD.

Tie the knot

The sweet chime of impending wedding bells inspired us to board our car—that is, embark upon a journey--in November and head for Lexington, Virginia, to witness the daughter of some friends “tie the knot”- that is get married.  We were familiar with the metaphorical slang phrase “tie the knot,” but imagine our surprise to find the bride and groom literally tied together as part of the wedding ceremony!

Before your imagination runs too far into visions of kinky rituals, let me assure you that the ceremony was very much G-rated.  As the groom is of Scottish descent, not only was the bag piper, who supplied the music for the ceremony, a nod to that heritage, but the knot-tying ceremony which preceded their formal vows, as well.

The officiant at the wedding explained to those gathered that the knot-tying ceremony developed out of necessity.  Centuries ago, many rural communities did not have a full-time minister, so one minister would have to serve many far-flung communities.  In today’s world, automobile travel makes this circumstance viable so that rural communities have ministers conveniently available.  However, in the days of travel by foot or by horse, rural communities would go for significant periods of time without having access to a minister.  Therefore, communities developed a ritual which allowed couples ready and willing to marry to bind their relationship publicly--literally and metaphorically--so that they could enjoy all aspects of married life until the minister returned to bless their marriage formally.

This ceremony involved a gathering of the townspeople and several ropes.  (Only in the 19^th century would those ropes become equated sarcastically with nooses, as in “tie the noose,” according to my Chambers Slang Dictionary.)  The couple would join hands and an officiant from the community would ask the couple questions about their commitment to each other.  As the couple answered each question, the officiant bound their hands together with a rope which was then knotted.  By the end of the questioning, the couple’s hands were firmly linked together.  The knot had been tied!

The officiant at the wedding we witnessed asked questions such as “Will you cause your spouse pain?” The gathered company chuckled when the groom answered, “I will,” but quickly amended his response to “I may.” He was experienced enough in love to know that he would not intentionally cause his wife grief. Because we are human, we do upon occasion cause pain to those we love.

After we returned home, I did some research into the knot tying ceremony.  The history of knot tying to celebrate weddings reaches much farther back in history and world culture than the explanation we heard.  Knot tying can also involve twining vines and even clothing to signify the bond of marriage.  As it turns out, this type of ceremony is currently so popular that many wedding sites are dedicated to it.

In addition, I pulled out my trusty Oxford English Dictionary.  Reading deep into the entry on “tie,” I finally found a meaning listed as figurative: “to join closely or firmly; to connect, attach, unite, knit, bind by material other than ties; esp. to unite in marriage,” with the first example from literature going back to the 11^th century.

As I tie up this blog, I wish that those of you who are “tied up,” that is married, are happily bound, not only in the ties of matrimony but bound (or headed) in a sweet direction.

LAGNIAPPE:  By the way, once the literal bonds were tied and the marital promises made and witnessed, the ropes were loosened.