The thing about "thing"

The thing about “thing” is it is one of those words writing teachers despise because of its abstract nature, but language users love because of its versatility.  When all else fails—memory, articulateness, prudence—the word “thing” fills in the blank appropriately.  It can refer to everything from body parts to possessions to abstract ideas.  Hamlet famously decides, “[T]he play’s the thing/ Wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the King.”  In this statement, by “thing” he means strategy. (See Note 1)

“Thing” has served the English language well.  As a formal word, “thing” is of Old English origin, going back to the 7^th century when English was emerging as a recognizable language.  In its original form, now obsolete, the OED defines it as “a meeting, assembly, esp. a deliberative or judicial assembly, a court, a council.”  If that meaning were still in use, Mr. Ding-a-ling and Sno Cone Joe would have gone to Thing to have their case decided.  (As it is, “dingaling,” also “thingaling,” has a meaning not appropriate to ice cream vendors.) (See Note 2)

As the English language developed, “thing” broadened in formal meaning to include actions, business affairs, obsessions, deeds, ideas, entities, attributes, and more.  It is no wonder, then, that according to the Chambers Slang Dictionary, “thing” took on an informal meaning, as well, in the 13^th century, initially meaning “a person, esp. someone whose name one does not know or who is unimportant.”  In the 20^th century, “thing” developed the abstract meaning which writing teachers despise, “a non-specific descriptor, used when one either cannot or does not wish to use the correct term.”

Going back to the OED, “thing” has many fun forms.  When we admit the existence of a thing, we grant it thinghood or we recognize its thingification.  In invoking such an action, we thingify a thing.  If something has qualities of a thing, it is thingish, thingy, or thingly.  An item “destitute of the character of a thing, insubstantial,” is thingless or possesses thinglessness.  Small things are thinglets or thinglings.  Thinginess admits that something has qualities of a thing.

The word “thing” allows English speakers a lot of latitude.  We can use it on purpose as a euphemism when we want to avoid using an objectionable word.  We can also use it when we just don’t know or remember the word we want to use.

In spite of its great usefulness, the thing about thing is it still makes for weak writing.

Note 1:  Somehow, “The thing’s the thing/ Wherein I’ll catch the thing of the Thing” does not have the same ring.

Note 2:  For those of you not in the northeast, recently in Gloversville, NY, one ice cream vendor was accused of harassing another ice cream vendor over territory.  The situation made the national talk shows